The Color of Water-Week 1, Post B

Dear James,
You must learn to allow your mother time. I know how much you want to learn about your grandparents and other distant relatives, but clearly your mother has a reason why she refuses to talk about them. You may be a young boy but you can still catch on to signals that your mother prefers to keep her past private. It is easy to assume that your mother experienced a horrifically difficult childhood by her abrupt dismissal of any conversation of her past. I ask you to please give her sufficient time. She is a strong woman who loves you unconditionally. She will tell you when she is ready.
James, you must also learn to accept the fact that your mother is different. Yes, she is a white woman raising 12 mixed race children on her own living in a predominantly black town. People will stare. People will gossip. This is a harsh reality of life that will take some getting used to. When you’re receiving these strange looks, rather than feel ashamed of your mother you should be proud of what she has accomplished and recognize her unfailing strength.
Finally, you need to learn to let your mother cope with situations in her own way. I understand that bringing up your successful brother Dennis when you seem to be faltering in your studies or behavior can be annoying, but think of how she must feel to have brought up a child by herself who is now on his way to medical school. “The heights he attained, heights we puny mortals could only dream of achieving, were trumpeted and crowed by Mommy in every corner of the house. Dennis had finished college. Dennis had gone to Europe. And now, for his crowning achievement, Dennis, oh glorious Dennis, oh mighty Dennis---Dennis! Dennis!---sought the highest, most wonderful, most incredible achievement any human being, any son, could hope to achieve.” (70) It’s normal to feel this way about your high esteemed brother but, you shouldn’t let your mother know how obnoxious she’s being when she rants about him. Let her have that moment to be proud of her self when she has devoted her life to raising you.
I guess what I’m trying to say is, be kind to your mother. Show her appreciation. Show her devotion. Make her proud to be your mother and never allow yourself to feel ashamed to be her son. It doesn’t matter what color she is, she is your mother and she loves you as any other mother would.

Sincerely,
Emily